A meditation on goat cheese

That's right, goat cheese.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but I'm seriously lame. Like, really lame. Like, have nothing better to write about on my blog than my personal feelings on goat cheese lame. I quote John McCain when I say: my friends, if you can't handle the lame, get out of the blog.*

On to the cheese.

I am slowly coming to (and stubbornly resisting) the realization that I don't really like goat cheese. I keep trying to like it; I often order things with it in restaurants with the idea that if I just keep eating it, I will somehow grow to love it. However, this does not seem to be the case. My taste buds could morph into goatherds, and I still would not like this cheese. It just tastes so ... goat-y. I think some delusional part of my brain thinks that because I like being cultured** in general and eating fancy cheese in particular, I should like this specific type of cheese, and I only have to try harder next time to make it work.

I am ashamed of this confession. If you were ever to ask me about this in public, I would say you made it all up; that's how deep my denial is. So the next time we are eating together in a restaurant or at a fancy dinner party, and you see me eating goat cheese (which will happen with more frequency than you probably even realize right now -- that shiznit is everywhere), you can smile with the sweet Schadenfreude of knowing my internal conflict.

Weird, right?

*That may be more of an approximation than an actual quote.

**Ha! Cultured! Cheese! Get it? See, LAME.

Hot damn ... here comes five.

I can't sleep, as usual, and therefore I am up surfing Facebook and the Interweb. Everybody's doing this 25 Facts thing, and as much as I like reading other peoples' notes even if they didn't tag me -- I'm really nosy and also kind of a creeper -- I am not sure if I want to publish my own. Maybe I'll do it here so I don't have to force my facts on unsuspecting passersby on Facebook. It's way better to force my facts on the empty silence of the Internet (and Diana).

Today was a fail of a day -- forgot a meeting, got chewed out by someone I respect a great deal, called out in rehearsal for being out of tune (twice) ... just bad news all around. I tend to lose my mojo when something really bothers me, and I think the stuff in orchestra all stemmed from me feeling deflated after this chewing out (which was completely deserved, by the way, so don't feel bad for me). I was later able to eat my feelings in the form of creme brulee, so that was nice.

I've also been poking around on Facebook, as previously mentioned, and I am in a bit of a funk about how things went down this summer. To recap: I was a teacher for a middle school enrichment program, and although I loved the program and the experience, I never dove into the program headfirst like I should have. Thus, I did not get to know many of the teachers very well, and I sincerely regret that. I know it was my own doing, and it stemmed from a lot of personal issues I was trying to work through. However, it still bothers me that A) there are these awesome people with whom I spent an entire summer who are practically strangers to me; B) they are all close to each other, and I'm kind of out of the loop; and C) they have this terrible impression of me I don't think I'll ever be able to erase. There is no way to show them the person they met this summer is not the real me -- or at least, is a part of me, but not the whole picture. I know I shouldn't care what these people think, considering I will probably never see most of them again, but I genuinely respected all of them (well ... most) and would love to have their good opinion. Needy? Self-absorbed? Maybe, but it's the truth. I am thinking of teaching in the program again this summer, and the idea of a do-over is very appealing.

Sorry to go all introspective on you. I'm not always angsty, I swear. Here's to tomorrow being a better day, starting with me trying to go to sleep for real.

Four!

I made a delicious dinner tonight. It's a little weird to cook for one, but I do enjoy cooking. I should do it much more often. I think I have been inspired by Top Chef.

Hey, look, three in a row.

I don't really have anything to say today, except for the fact that I am in need of some major cash monies. If you owe me money and forgot about it, now would be a good time to remind me.

LOLz

I just realized I wrote one post in all of 2008 ... best blogger ever. I'll take my Webby award via mail, thanks.

Damn, I suck at this blogging thing.

Yep, didn't happen. Again. Oh well. I'll just say don't hold your breath for updates, and we'll see where things go from here.

I just got back from Savannah, where I have been for the past few days playing in the GMEA All-College ensemble. It was equal parts fun, awkwardness, gossip and slight boredom, but all in all a good trip. It was nice to get to know some of my fellow wind ensemblers better.

So I guess an update is in order about other things that are going on chez MK. I am taking a fifth year to finish a French major in order to do Teach for America after graduation. I thought I would be OK without an official French major because I am already fluent, but apparently I need the major for certification to teach high school French. I don't want to teach high school forever, but for the 2 years of TFA I would prefer high or maybe middle school to elementary. Thus, I had to switch from a music major with a minor in French to a French major with a minor in music. I still feel like I am class of '09 even though I am now officially graduating in '10 (that doesn't even look right -- no zero in front?!). If I get a class ring, it will definitely say '09. I just consider 2010 to be my victory lap.

It's weird to be a second-semester senior, even though I know I will be here for another year. All my friends are deciding where to go and what to do for the next chapter of their lives, and it's very strange to think about all of us being scattered across the country and potentially even internationally next year. It's the kind of thing that hits you in certain moments when you're least expecting it -- you forget about it until some little thing jars the thought, and WHAM. Finality. Of course, I know I will keep in touch with my close friends, but it's obviously going to be quite different than it has been. Forgive me for this little nostalgia trip, but I couldn't sleep last night and got to looking through photos on Facebook. College has had some majorly fun times, and I'm sure there are many fun times still to come.

To wrap up this post, I will show a photo of another thing that has happened since I last wrote: Mowgli the cat. I know, I know, it's really lame to post pictures of my cat, but A) I'm lame, so deal with it, and B) ... well, that's it, really. Just deal. He mostly looks like he's stoned all the time, but I have managed to catch him actually alert once or twice.

Stoned:



Marginally less stoned:



Somewhat alert:

Je blogue, donc je suis.

I know many of you (read: all of you) gave up on this blog ages ago -- and really, who could blame you? I gave up on this blog. But in the interest of finally finishing what I started, I'm going to try to write regularly again. On the off-chance that someone actually reads it, great. Welcome. On the highly more likely chance that no one ever reads it, that's OK too. The lure of the blogosphere is too seductive to be ignored by a college student like me with way too many thoughts and way too little life experience, and it's not the readership that counts. The act of recording my thoughts and allowing that little piece of me become a part of "history," i.e. lost in the maze of the Internet, is all that matters.

In the delightfully tongue-in-cheek words of the French: I blog, therefore I am.