Hot damn ... here comes five.

I can't sleep, as usual, and therefore I am up surfing Facebook and the Interweb. Everybody's doing this 25 Facts thing, and as much as I like reading other peoples' notes even if they didn't tag me -- I'm really nosy and also kind of a creeper -- I am not sure if I want to publish my own. Maybe I'll do it here so I don't have to force my facts on unsuspecting passersby on Facebook. It's way better to force my facts on the empty silence of the Internet (and Diana).

Today was a fail of a day -- forgot a meeting, got chewed out by someone I respect a great deal, called out in rehearsal for being out of tune (twice) ... just bad news all around. I tend to lose my mojo when something really bothers me, and I think the stuff in orchestra all stemmed from me feeling deflated after this chewing out (which was completely deserved, by the way, so don't feel bad for me). I was later able to eat my feelings in the form of creme brulee, so that was nice.

I've also been poking around on Facebook, as previously mentioned, and I am in a bit of a funk about how things went down this summer. To recap: I was a teacher for a middle school enrichment program, and although I loved the program and the experience, I never dove into the program headfirst like I should have. Thus, I did not get to know many of the teachers very well, and I sincerely regret that. I know it was my own doing, and it stemmed from a lot of personal issues I was trying to work through. However, it still bothers me that A) there are these awesome people with whom I spent an entire summer who are practically strangers to me; B) they are all close to each other, and I'm kind of out of the loop; and C) they have this terrible impression of me I don't think I'll ever be able to erase. There is no way to show them the person they met this summer is not the real me -- or at least, is a part of me, but not the whole picture. I know I shouldn't care what these people think, considering I will probably never see most of them again, but I genuinely respected all of them (well ... most) and would love to have their good opinion. Needy? Self-absorbed? Maybe, but it's the truth. I am thinking of teaching in the program again this summer, and the idea of a do-over is very appealing.

Sorry to go all introspective on you. I'm not always angsty, I swear. Here's to tomorrow being a better day, starting with me trying to go to sleep for real.